We’ve all been there. The moment you’re triggered and ready to let loose with quite the epithet or snarky comeback, the need to rage against the machine, or the desire to shove your face with dark chocolate and down a shot of tequila faster than you can say, “I’ll have another and make it a double.”
But there is this sacred moment between your reaction and your response, that if you let it, it will transform your life and your experiences for the better.
There are 4 questions that just might save you a whole lotta hurt, avoid unintended consequences and help you win the game. Poker face required. Tequila shot still optional, but better with lime and a Grand Marnier floater.
Think of a challenging circumstance, a problematic person, a shaky situation or a difficult decision you happen to be currently wrestling with right now. You know that Joker I’m referring to!
Now, without overthinking it, answer the following questions and truly write down what comes to mind first.
With regard to my difficult scenario:
- What would calm do now? (Defining calm as unruffled, unperturbed, and the absence of hot air/wind. Thank you Webster’s!)
- What would grace do now? (Defining grace as honoring someone or something with your presence – with the goal of strengthening the situation.)
- What would wisdom do now? (Defining wisdom as applied understanding. i.e. Now that you know better, how are you going to act better?)
- What’s my ideal response if my sincerest intent is to help, not hurt?
Feel your body relaxing? Your butt muscles unclenching? Your shoulders dropping? Your chest expanding and your gut no longer spasm-ing?
These questions give you the upper hand every time. (Or the tequila is starting to kick-in.)
It’s easy to react. It’s far more brilliant to play your cards (i.e respond)… thoughtfully.
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