Are Your Friendships Floundering or Floating? And Why it Matters

Dear AmyK:
Summer is not always a great time for me to catch up with friends, even though technically it should be a more relaxed time of year. And with a very busy and large family, I’m starting to wonder how big a role friendships should really play in my life. I let some friendships go that needed to be dropped, but some of my close friends are getting canceled out due to crazy calendars. Is it worth maintaining a relationship with another couple or a friend you only see 2-3 times a year?
Signed,
Feeble at Managing Friendships

My Feeble Friend,
Life is short. Sometimes hard. And at our core – it is our connectedness with our own spirit and the spirit of others that sees us through this strange journey. From your best friend and partner to dear friends along the way, these are the people that anchor you during the storms, play Marco-Polo with you, make sure you aren’t getting too burned and accompany you to the swim up bar. 😉

I’m glad to hear that you have let go of the relationships that drag you down. These energy draining contacts need to be deleted and superseded with allies that assure you feel less isolated and cray-cray and more your buoyant self.

But now you have to invest in the solid, brilliant people you were lucky to have placed in your pool.

Yes, there are those friendships that stand the test of time. You may not talk for months, perhaps even years, and then one day your phone rings and you both pick up where you left off. These friends are rare and sacred, so be thankful and invest enough to keep a high ROI. As for your other relationships, different strokes for different folks, but you gotta at least learn to doggie paddle and throw people a bone (whoops – mixing metaphors) or you won’t ever want to dive into deeper water with them (nor they with you)…and that’s where true friendships shine.

I hear you – you lead a busy and full life. I still highly encourage you to assess your values and priorities, make sure they align and incorporate 3-5 significant friendships that support and cultivate these priorities and values.

We know from extensive research that if your friends eat healthily, you are five times more likely to have a healthy diet yourself; that if you have a “best friend at work,” you are seven times more likely to feel engaged in your job; that if your friends value marriage they just may help save yours; that if life throws a huge wave your way your friends will be your lifesaver – handing you floaties and a good glass of wine. 😉

The famous philosopher Epicurus once said, “The noble man is most involved with wisdom and friendship.”

In light of recent news, I offer two stellar links, one on the friendship between Muhammad Ali and Howard Cosell and the other on Jane Fonda’s friendship with Lily Tomlin.

Life is truly the sum total of our relationships.

To staying afloat with friends,

AmyK

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